Girl I hope you understand
I wanted to hold your hand
But I can`t wanted to be your man back then
And you knew I fell for you but you
Just broke my heart in two
I was sad mad and broken on my bed
Hoping I get rid of all the voices in my head
I was opening a packet of an undeveloped med
When I was met with a prescription
Of a bullet made of lead
And when I woke up in an hour in a pool
Of my own sweat
I said
I swear to God I`ll never even try to sleep again
So instead I took my pen
And started writing evidence
And when I started making sense
I found that I had reached the end
Oh I`m upset I have no friends
You wanna bet you`re just pretend?
You`re just a pet confined
Within the lines of writing
You`re not sh*t
I thought I stopped my psychopathic ways
I swear I did
I said I talked to people
`Bout the problematic life I lived
They were my neighbors razor blades
And different flavored pills I hate
Therefore I`m not sure leave my last straw
I`m so glad stuck in the past I said that
Girl I hope you understand
I wanted to hold your hand
But I can`t wanted to be your man back then
And so far I never held you with my arms
So it`s hard to be the one you aren`t
With instead filled with anxiety
Always was a part of me
Guess I`m not cut out to be
Somebody `cause it`s not me
I`m not used to all the talk it was an introvert
That had converted feelings into writing
Used to cope with all my problems
Using notes and lots of rhyming
Used to hope for better days
Whenever nights would have me crying
I`m not lying when I say that
I would rather daily go back
To the times I would try be the guy
The people know
I was fighting with the demons hiding far
Beyond my eyelids
On an island full of violence in my head
That I could pilot
Oh the sun don`t shine the skies turn gray
I felt it coursing through my veins
I said before I`m not okay
But you don`t listen anyway
You know I tried you turned away
You straight up lied right to my face
You f**ked my life ruined my day
But you don`t know so I`ll say
Nothing can fill this silence
No one can love like I did
(You don`t know so I`ll say)
Nobody cares you lied it`s no fair
You still deny it
(So I`ll say)
Nothing can fill this silence
No one can love like I did
(You don`t know so I`ll say)
Nobody cares you lied it`s no fair
You still deny it
(So I`ll say)
Girl I hope you understand
I wanted to hold your hand
But I can`t wanted to be your man back then
And too bad I know I can`t wake up
Because I lost my weight
And you don`t give a f**k
About me this could be a dream I can`t see
The things that you see so please oh
Girl I hope you understand
I wanted to hold your hand
But I can`t wanted to be your man back then
And you know I`ll play along
You were my home I wrote you songs
And now you`re dead to me effectively
Removed yourself outside my dreams