I`m liable to start a violent spark
with a silent thought
I disgust you like dialogue
from The Shop to The Wired Frog
Night club, shit, I was taught
if your CD`s on fire
You had to put it out yourself
like Highland Park
no fire department
So you might not hear sirens at all
But don`t be alarmed if I sound off
Something just ain`t right with me, dawg
A martyr on a private charter
whose life could be harder?
Widely regarded highly, bite me
sweetheart, I`m slightly retarded
But tonight I`m starting shit
I`m feeling self righteous
I might just hop in a mosh pit
on some Mike Tyson and Pac shit
Looking to box with anybody
disorderly conduct
I`ll fuck around and snort a key
and pick a fight with a locksmith
Fan of the LOX, bananas, manic
I`m going in shock
Frantic, I`m trapped in a closet
Panic attack cause I`m claustrophobic
No, faggot, I mean
I can`t maneuver from movement
Cause I have no room for improvement
I`m practically squashed
unpacked it and boxed it
Toxic, hands are arsenic, flammable bars
examine the content
Bar exam, start of insanity
Charles Hamilton
slash Manson and Bronson
Animal snarls, cannibal jaws
Shark mandibles, lambs to the slaughter
Looking scamp as Hannibal stalking
Anthony Hopkins
with his hands in his pockets
Black out, Zach Galifianakis
gallons of Vodka
But that gal has some knockers
I bet you they ring a bell
when I come back and I`m conscious
What happened, doc? I passed out again
Alcohol`s making me break
into vacant`s naked
Stole a Magnum box
and bag Cirocs in back of a Datsun
Fell asleep watching
Fear Factor and Scare Tactics
Too close to the StairMaster
Poked a hole
in the air mattress and popped it
Woke up shortly thereafter, hungover
No underwear, grasping a Bayer Aspirin
and dropped it
Air Max in my closet
preposterous Nikes made out of ostrich
And the cross stitching is a cross mixing
Of a rhinoceros, possum skin
giraffe and a dolphin
Fin Dockers, OshKoshes
drop crotches
Swatch watches and sneakers
matches with the Parkers
But it`s like being
overstaffed at a boxing gym
With all these trainers
but I don`t have any boxers
And I`m standing here naked
hangover, still wasted
Like paper you write raps on, obnoxious
Yo, why does it always sound like
I`m grabbing my nostrils?
Fuck that, I`ll battle `em all, I`ll battle a mall
I’ll stand there and yell that at a wall
Until the mannequin doll scatter
and the inanimate objects
That I`m battering all shatter and fall
Cause I hear the track and
I`m starting to get fucking amped
I`mma spark plug, I`m like the car
with the cables hooked up to my
fucking back, I`m a Duracell
But I sure as hell got it backwards
cause y`all could get jumped
And I`d catch the battery charge, but
I got a hunch like your back
when it`s arching
When I start attacking your squadron
You`ll feel like MasterCard
when I`m charging
So take a swipe at me
I`m coming straight at you
Like Clay Matthews
from the Green Bay Packers
So get the sack of Wisconsin
That`s nutbag that I`m talking
who am I kidding?
You faggots are all gonna do my bidding
Don`t get dragged to the auction
Neiman Marcus, bags of Vuitton and all
I`ll push a bitch into oncoming traffic
just watch this
Stretched, tinted, black sedan my ass
See how mad you act
when I drop you off at Saks Fifth Ave
In a fucking taxi cab to go shopping
Affable guy next door is laughable
My next whore`s gonna have
mechanical arms
That`ll jack me off with a lotion dispenser
with a motion sensor
No emotion hence
I guess this sick prick dies hard
I got a Magic Johnson
It`s like a Magic Wand allows me
to not let a blonde arouse me
If Ronda Rousey was on the couch
with the condoms out
Holding a thousand Magnums
at once to pounce me
I`ll laugh in response to how
she dances and flaunts it around me
Her flat little
badonkadonk is bouncing around
And all I see is Paulie Malign now
she`s slaughterhouse in a blouse
And Madonna with mud on her
God dammit I am misogynist
I slap Linda Ronstadt with a lobster
throw her off a balcony
Just so happens she`s fond of algae
Cause now she`s faceplants
on the concrete
Complete lack of responsibility
Half you assholes ain`t strong
enough to pick up a spirit
Shit, you fags couldn`t
shoplift at a thrift shop
But I let the track lift `em up
boost the energy
Klepto, I`m back to rip shop up
but my thing is this now
Five-finger discount
Been rapping so long
I`ve been killing this shit, it`s easy
Kidnapping your mom
cause I`m still in this bitch, thievery
Ransom for JonBenet Ramsey
Chandra Levy, and Gary Condit
("Em") Paul was scared that
if I went back to the blonde
I might relapse, get on some bullshit
Perhaps I`ll launch some cracker
taunts at Action Bronson
Macklemore, Mac Miller and Asher Roth
And have some back and forths
And record a wack response
to Kendrick Lamar`s "Control" verse
And perform "Fack" in concert
["Fack" plays]
Yo, I put that shit
on a greatest hits album
Now that was awesome
It takes some massive
balls to do some shit like that
Sometimes I have to ponder
why people are like
(I`ll stick around)
And put up with my crap so long for
What`s the attraction, mama?
Is it the fact that I`m a walking
talking, actual quadruple entendre
Or the pointy nose
that`s pointing at you, mama?
Who knows at this point
it`s always poking so meh
Still get along with this
voice cause that`s the monster
So do-si-do with a sociopath
everyone who knows me knows that
What they don`t know
is the fact Rihanna
calls me Pinocchio, meh
She loves the way I lie
Sits on my face
and waits for my nose to grow
Pathological liar, oh
why am I such an asshole
That my disguise is pants
but they on fire
So am I-a, wooh
Cappadonna
cut the track off (fart sound)
Sabotage Christmas
crap in your stocking
I`m wrapping up all the presents
In fucking camouflage
so you can`t even find `em
Jack Santa Claus
snap Rudolph`s antlers off
Wrap his schnoz
in gauze bandage and blind him
Blowing the head gasket at Bed
Bath and Beyond
Put the basket back
while the bath salt packets are gone, I
Know you really tired of me
sampling Billy Squier
But classic rock acid rap is the genre
Got Slash on guitar
splashing Bizarre
Thrasher and Aerosmith
And I`m a spectacular archer
feed count Dracula Chocula
Godzilla, half dragon and Bob Dylan
Bandwagoners
I`m kicking the damn stragglers off
and I`m strangling `em
Smack Kim Basinger on a ass